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Writer's pictureSharon Jeff George

My Breastfeeding Struggles and How I Solved Them

Updated: May 13, 2021

For a first-time mom, I had no idea what a struggle latching my baby would be. In fact, before this event, I had never even heard the term 'latching'. I thought breastfeeding will come naturally to me and that my baby will just automatically start suckling. Oh, how wrong was I!

Sleeping infant on mothers shoulder

Unnecessary separation of mother and infant, no skin-to-skin contact, attaching baby forcefully, and low milk supply are few of the reasons for the baby to show an adverse behavior towards the breast, fighting it instead of attaching to feed.


It took us a month long struggle but my baby finally did learn to latch and there after began my wonderful breastfeeding journey. I’m glad that I got the help from a lactation consultant and also did tons of research online that helped me bond well with my infant.


This post is a great reminder, for all first-time moms about breastfeeding basics and things to keep in mind when latching a newborn baby. I will be sharing few tips that worked for us. So, stay tuned!

newborn baby held by mother on her shoulders

What all did I try?


I researched a ton on YouTube, bought silicone nipple shields, drank loads of fenugreek soaked in water, and had breastfeeding supplements to increase my milk supply.


As the lactation consultant suggested I even used their hospital grade electric breast pump. Pumping manually was not sending my body enough signals to produce more milk faster but an electric pump would is what she said.

What did actually work?


I feel what actually worked wonders for us apart from doing all the above, was skin-to-skin contact.


I had read in one article that as soon as the baby is born the first hour of birth is crucial for the baby to be attached to the mother’s chest.


This golden hour is the essence of getting your baby accustomed to you and feeling safe next to your breasts.


Even dad's can do skin-to-skin. It helps stimulate the infant's immune system and calms and soothes the baby to sleep.


What do you mean by skin-to-skin?

newborn baby breastfeeding

It means you and your baby lie down or sit facing each other topless.


Do not shy out or be scared to hold, hug, cuddle and put your newborn on your bare chest.


You are helping the infant relax, feel safe, even listening to your heartbeat calms the infant down.


Skin-to-skin works wonders for both mother and child not only physically but also psychologically.


My Struggles and Experiences

newborn baby crying profusely when forcefully held against the mothers breast to feed

I remember, my golden hour had gone way out of the window. My baby was sent outside the labor room first to meet with the family while I was getting stitched. I took another half an hour to forty five minutes to be united with the family. By the time I reached the recovery room my baby was already on formula milk.

The doctors advised that we keep feeding the baby formula milk every two hours until the mother's milk supply comes in. Even if the baby is fast asleep, we should wake the baby and feed him every two hours. That was the standard protocol.


This was done to make sure baby doesn’t get jaundice which is common among most newborn babies.


But not even once did the visiting doctors suggest I try breastfeeding.

On the other hand, I was so tired from all the birthing process. I mostly or whenever possible slept while my mother and sister-in-law took care of feeding formula milk to the baby. Their support was crucial, I don't know how I would have managed otherwise.


Next day when the nurse came to check. She asked if I had tried breastfeeding. When I said no, she gripped the baby towards my breasts and forcefully tried to make him open his mouth wide to latch. But that ended up with baby screaming and fighting to avoid the breasts even more. She suggested I keep trying.


I tried again no luck the kid won’t open his mouth wide enough to take the entire areola (below the nipple area). I quit trying and thought will do it later once I’m home. There I'll get some privacy.


But no luck. My baby is not sleeping properly and is just crying profusely all the time. I am exhausted and overwhelmed at the same time. Those were truly challenging times for me and my baby. God alone knows how we survived.


Weekly Updates

Week 1 - Watching my mother making formula milk every two hours especially at 1 AM, 3 AM, 5 AM was just embarrassing, disappointing even. I should be doing this not my beloved mother. But she insists on taking care of both of us. It was then that I knew, I had to relieve her of my burdens and find a better solution that works best for all three of us. I have to get my baby latched to my breasts as soon as possible.


Week 2 - I visited the lactation consultant, who’s assistant suggests few things saying I should try relaxing myself and first clear my mind remove all doubts about latching not latching. Let the love flow, the energy you send to the baby is what will get him to latch properly. She then sends me home with an electric pump.

Week 3 - No luck. I go back to the lactation consultant, this time I get the doctor who suggests I up my milk supply. Start using the electric pump religiously. She writes some medication says it’s completely safe it’s used during pregnancy to stop nausea and also works well to increase the milk production.

I bring home the electric pump again. This time I am clear and determined to make it work. But the supply is still low 10 ml sometimes I get 20 ml, sometimes 5 ml. I’m disheartened plus the pumping is way too much work (sterilizing it is yet another). I give up and stick to formula.


Week 4 - I go to the lactation consultant again who now examines the baby and says the baby has nipple confusion. That my baby’s inborn rooting-tongue reflexes seem missing (or) he is just plain accustomed to being spoon-fed now. She said she is okay with me renting the electric pump for another six months or a year.


My younger brother who was accompanying me to the hospital immediately understood what was going on here. It was he who made me see eye to eye. You see, the two weeks that I rented the pump had already put a hole in my pocket and now she was suggesting I continue depending on the machine for another six months to a year.


I returned the machine. My brother's advice gave me the much needed push to believe I can get my baby latched directly and not depend on any machine. Thank God for good discernment at the right place and time!


My Miracle

I went home and cried. Even though I returned the machine I was skeptical. So, I knelt down and prayed to the Lord Jesus Christ for an answer. I prayed like the psalmist did, 'Oh, why did you Lord forsake me? How long shall I suffer, Oh Lord?'. I prayed constantly and my Lord finally gave me an answer.

Pray continually, rejoice always, and give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 NIV Bible

The next three days all my searches online kept highlighting skin-to-skin. One article that I read suggested improving the maternal-infant latching, bonding by both parties cuddling topless and just spending the next two or three days in bed. That's exactly, what baby and I did!


My baby finally in just 3 days before he turned a month old latched. I still remember when he did latch the right way it didn’t hurt. It was like a complete programming reset and my baby familiarized himself in finding my breasts and started suckling.


My baby's inborn rooting-tongue reflexes were back in action. Now he doesn't scream or cry when I place him near my chest, in fact, he plays and even massages the breasts with his hands. (lol). He makes licking and suckling movements with his lips even in his sleep. Now, he's dreaming of breastfeeding. He thoroughly enjoys it.


I am so happy. I can feel my oxytocin levels rise inside me and my body relaxing and producing more milk as and when my baby stimulates the nipples. I let out a huge sigh of relief for everything has finally gone well.


All praise to God Almighty!

Photo Credits: google.com


I summarize this post with some basic yet very important things to consider:


Sleep when the baby sleeps with loads of skin-to-skin contact.


Drink plenty of water especially before and after breast feeding.


Rest and eat frequently. Eat six times, small portions of nutritious meals and fruits.


Continue taking your vitamins and calcium even after pregnancy for as long as you breastfeed.


Silicone nipple shield could help to solve the inverted nipple issue. But also be persistent in trying to get your baby to latch directly. This will save you a lot of extra (sterilizing) work.


Keep the areola/below the nipple area clean and dry.


Avoid perfume. You don’t want to confuse your baby with different kinds of smells.


The first three months are very challenging with a newborn baby. Getting your family’s support especially your husband's is very crucial. I thank God for my husband's loving kindness, and patience especially during the initial month when baby was not latching. Because without the family's support, I would have felt lonely and depressed.


Post-partum depression is a real thing, get professional help if you have suicidal thoughts or thoughts of hurting your baby. Get help immediately.


Sending positive vibes to all new mothers out there. Hope this post helps you figure out breastfeeding and latching your baby. Happy breastfeeding, Mommy!


Do let me know in the comments section below, if you have any questions. Also don't forget to like and share it with your friends and family.


If you enjoyed this, you might want to check out my other posts.


Keywords: breastfeeding, new mother, latching a baby, latching problems breastfeeding struggles, breastfed baby, skin-to-skin contact, motherhood

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